Category: Writers Block
The evening continued and the Englishmen became more restless Andy surveyed their discomfort with amusement and infinate patience, Dougie couldn't avoid analysing their behaviour he was fascinated by the change in their demeanour "oi we should let him piss I'm not wantin my seat ruined by your man" he nodded towards the struggling climber who was in considerable pain when Garry offered him more ale to exacerbate it he swore and called him a "heathen idiot!" Garry laughed and pushed the straw closer to his victim's mouth "sure you could give a man the wrong impression pal someone might think your not in charge of that sadistic streak" Dougie shifted in his seat in an effort to reach his pint "are you safe there pal..eh we'll let them off the hook now before its too late?" they discussed the possability and agreed as Andy got up to push the climber to the gents, he was still cursing and as they drew level with the bar Billy turned a tap on to full "your making me need now fortunately its bearable" Anja grinned she was unused to men being so open about this "tie a knot big guy!" he laughed and responded with cheek "are you offering babe I wont even scream" she waved away his dare with 1 hand and kissed Dougie who was looking worried he whispered "your pal's not the only 1 someone il need to carry me an quick".
The big climber caught her eye and rushed over "shit eh ok pal but the last time I was 1/2 and dropped him" The Irishman's eyes were anxiously asking for help and he prepared to lift him "ok 1.2.3" Andy braced himself and lifted Dougie they were equally tense and Garry was silently hoping that nothing went wrong,he walked beside his friends just in case as Anja got up to follow Dougie yelled at her "some things are private ok!" "I see it before let me help" "I dont care! Allow me some dignity shit I dont have much left!" Andy raced to the gents and keeping his grief in check,he'd hoped to leave this 2nd hand aspect of his life behind in Inverness where it couldnt touch him.They made it just in time but without the support of his chair the climber had to hold Dougie as his legs buckled under his weight "f.ck this is hellish!" he relieved himself and fought back hot stinging tears of humiliation.
"Ok you alright man don't worry I wont..." he turned at the sound of a soft footstep and saw Anja standing in the doorway her beautiful face was almost obscured by shadow but the pain evolving into pity was clear enough "jesus! Get out! Please" Dougie's legs were shaking and Andy picked him up before he fell "can you do as he says can you not see he's upset" Anja wanted to kiss his tears and taste their salt,all she really wanted was to lie beside this guy who disturbed her emotions and threw her heart into somersaults "it's over your ok, its ok," he smiled self consciously and dodged his friend's concerned eyes "at least..you didn't drop me..can you get my chair....please" Anja left and he saw her eyes mist over with the threat of breaking down Andy carried Dougie to a radiator and to his relief it was off "here its better than nothing eh" "aye ..I...I'm sorry you should never a told me pal...see what happens....when you...let these skeletons out a the cupboard" he wiped his eyes and kept them fixed on the floor Andy smiled shyly and tried to lie "hey Mark's condition means nothing its just there" Dougie needed a cigarette and hearing about Anja's brother had been harder than he'd anticipated "then why tell me otherwise hmm are you ashamed of your own cousin because he's unable to walk!"
Do I know you from somewhere? Your name's not Alex, is it?
The argument was just warming up when Garry appeared with his prisoner Dougie locked eyes with him but the Englishman saw a question and quickly averted his gaze "right Humphrey are you ok to stand eh or do you want some help" Garry shot a glance at his friends and grinned "we only just made it to the hour man any longer and..." "I don't want to know just hurry up eh I'm not sittin here all night like a prize eejit" Andy shifted uncomfortably he wasn't at ease with this scenario and Dougie was having doubts about continuing this friendship,Garry untied his prisoner and he struggled to stand and relieve himself "let the poor fecker piss in peace feck knows! We've tormented him enough" Garry brought over the chair and applied the breaks Dougie judged the distance and slipped off the radiator in to the seat "ahhh home sweet home..I like a warm seat..have you learned anythin pal or do we have to carry on with your education"
"No that's alright I'm up to speed now..and your life must be very hard I couldn't...." they really looked at each other for the 1st time and reached a mutual,if shaky, understanding he ran the wheels back and forth as if familiarising himself with their movement and smiled "as hard as I and others make it....now how about a drink" Andy hadn't said a word he knew it was unlikely that Dougie would let him leave without an answer, he cleared his throat to speak though his offer had to force its way through his embarrassment "I'll buy them it's.... about time eh?" "Aye too right then you n I il have a talk".
Andy sighed deeply and dug out his wallet and Garry was as quick as ever "man would you look at those moths! Its a wonder they've survived for so long" his grin rapidly disappeared when he caught the big climber's eyes "what's the craic pal hmm? It was your idea" he studied a picture hanging over the bar, of Ben Eighe glowing white in a hot Torridon summer "eh no it was fun eh? I'm for it with your man how do I approach him...you know..." Garry had paid close attention to the look in his friends eyes they were calm but concealing a sense of distrust and he'd seen far too often in the long 6 months of re-affirming their friendship
Dougie had his own problem he had lost the rag several times and several people were thinking {it's only a matter of time until the next 1}He drank the rest of his pint and went over how to apologise to Anja, again she wanted to hold him but he seemed so self contained and closed
absentmindedly she put a hand on his leg and not surprisingly he didn't react, his eyes were consumed with doubts and painful memories and Anja so wanted to erase them all "Dougie how... are...you now I... know your hurting but remember we are with you yes" he turned and met her vibrant blue eyes they told him everything, and some things, he learned to protect himself from his defences were hurriedly built but impenetrable if the need arose "I..I feel so bad for shoutin at you...this is my fault your lookin at a prize idiot" she smiled and exhaled slowly to give her time to assess his mood "tell me I wont run away you chase me anyway yes" he swallowed the last of his pint and prepared to narrate the nightmare of his accident.
"Hmmm my brother Michael an I were in Zermatt..... gettin ready for the Matterhorn.." he lit up and reinhaled his fingers distractedly fiddling with the match "it's 1 dangerous climb and this....was in winter we were on the Hornli ridge an its lethal very sharp an icy" Anja held his other hand the palm was damp with sweat "sure we'd nearly reached the hut where you can spend the night an eh Michael decided to rest for a bit as he was gettin sore as his crampons were strapped on too tight" Dougie took a long draw and blew out the smoke in a ragged breath "I agreed and eh went to sit down I took..... 1 step, an another,....... then the front fangs of my crampons caught in my laces and I went flyin.....back...over an over...Michael was yellin but I couldn't hear...... what he said...."Anja felt the sweat run beneath his tshirt he was mentally reliving every minute of this "he held me, then he started slippin, I shouted cut the rope! He refused but your man had no choice or we'd both a been paralysed maybe dead.......sometimes I think that might be better" Anja shook her head and kissed him he wanted to reciprocate but the risk was too great.He took out a knife an cut the rope it was green I always remember.... that for Ireland...I went flying with the tension bein released tumblin down it so fast..... but everythin seemed.... to have stopped....and there was dead silence I didn't even scream".
"This big rock like a shark's fin ripped.... my rucksack off my back the Matterhorn's.... very jagged an I went over this drop about 150ft and landed hard on a slab covered in ice...... I went to dig in my crampons an my..... legs wouldnt...... move there.... was nothin....the pain was terrible an I thought your back's broken pal ...you've had it!..." Anja held him and tried to absorb some of his pain they hadn't noticed the captivated silence as everyone listened to his story "someone must a called the rescue cause I heard a helicopter comin in the hospital they xrayed me an said your back is broken in 3 places 2 will heal, 1 wont, you'll be paraplegic..... very efficient the Swiss" Dougie almost smiled and drew hard on his cigarette Anja drank her pint and tried to stop herself from shaking.
"Don't say any more hmm? Its enough that you trust me to say this" she held him and kissed away his distress "what must these guys think eh an Iv'e said that before ...its hardly a good advert for Ireland" Anja smiled and its effect was slowly lifting his creeping depression he leaned back and stretched "what a day man where's that big lug with my pint" Andy came over with a glass of harp "here Christ! Your so demanding I'd hate to live with you" Dougie considered the meaning behind his complaint "don't tell me your bent ...an I'm quiet at home unless the team are scorin" his voice was still strained and the confidence was a smoke screen he took a sip and made a deal with Andy "how's this .....for starters.......you can give Mark my number" he held out a card without meeting his eyes but the determination was returning "an we'll.... get together.... for a game some time...he'll love it" the climber accepted the card and wondered how to handle this rapid new shift in his life,Garry meandered over he was smiling mischievously and that meant trouble "alright are we still on for tomorrow Paddy this is nothin no worse than Norway" he sat down and winked at Anja who returned it "hmm hmm have you been up there lately".
He broke off a chunk of chocolate and answered "yes i have and ok its snowin where do you think this came from" "will you share I love chocolate" he gently dropped the chunk in to Anja's mouth she wrapped her tongue around it and sighed in indulgence "so gentle...the Vikings....what is your Norwegian name" Garry was gone he didn't care about anything else "....eh well its old Skallagrimsson" Anja sat bolt upright and took 2 big gulps of Dougie's pint.
"Oi! Man these Scandinavians ...your right it is a big problem" she wiped her mouth and challenged Garry to defend his claim "that's not a Norwegian name not really they ran to Iceland!" Dougie was ready to take what he could if his friend slipped up "we were originally Norwegian my Father's from there and thats his name so we are real, live, Vikings" Dougie was well aware of what came next this was an old game they played to relieve the stress of their lives ."So Olaf is it true your lot could be smelled before they were seen" to his credit Olaf kept his cool but that was never difficult in the beginning "no there are records as you well know Paddy, of my lot having regular baths, combing their hair and changing their underwear which is more than the Irish were doing" Andy pulled a disgusted face and moved to a far seat closer to Garry "ah ha! You were a bunch of long haired posers" Andy was enjoying this combat he'd suspected Garry would come up with a way to improve the tense atmosphere Dougie leaned forward to catch his friend's eye "who changed your filthy sleazy town only good for offloading slaves, to a thriving trade centre eh? The Vikings Dublin became THE place to be and the Irish girls ahh yes!"
Anja realised that the claim was genuine when Garry played his last card "and Irish if there are any more insults thrown at my noble race I'll erect a scorn pole outside your house and call on all the Norwegian gods to do their worst!" Dougie drank a little and rubbed his left ear lobe a habit he had when playing cards "hmm that no a smart move pal I've heard the gods can desert you like that!" He clicked his fingers hard and lit up "you should stop smokin especially now hmmm? You don't want it poppin up in your lungs" he pulled on the cigarette in defiance and it was too much "uh huh your content to give up eh! A long slow painful death is more worthwhile than fightin for your life!...Why are you givin up" Dougie's eyes were heavy with guilt and he couldn't hide it he heard Anja's seductive voice but she sounded so distant "oh no tell me no" Garry stared at the strange scene as if he was disconnected from the pain and disbelief eventually he spoke ".....how long man eh?" He put an arm around his friend's shoulders and waited "their ..not sure I'm eh to start treatment soon wi this lack of sensation I'd no damned idea".
The atmosphere collapsed in to a cruel uneasy silence climbers don't cope well with illness.Andy's dark grey eyes swept over them all sitting whispering and trying not to be conspicuous "what is wrong with you hmm after all you've seen today Christ!...And to think I've trusted some of you numpties with m'life" as he strode to the door he banged his fist off the wall in frustration and helplessness he knew the outcome of this "your probably too f.ckin! Late man Jesus! Could you not have kept it to yourself" he flung the door open and slammed it shut the room echoed with the sudden angry sound "I'd better go he's in no state to be out there we are goin to talk about this and why you lied to me!" Garry pulled on his jacket and downed the 1/4 Pint in 1.
"Your in danger... of.... frostbite pal"the N.E wind was colder if that possible and took the shortest route straight through the climbers then it spun the snow in to violent spindriftsthey could barely talk as the bitter air scalded their throats "I'm ok ..eh ...sorry man...I'm a Doctor" Garry handed his friend a bar of chocolate and went to his jeep "are.... you ...comin" Andy hesitated partly because of the wind and the direction of the conversation he'd been here far too many times but the cold had found a way through his jacket "....Eh yep...I'..m freezing" Garry forced open the door and climbed in he tried to start the engine and miraculously it fired! He switched on the heater to full and munched on the chocolate "f.ck! I'll have his hide for this!" Andy jumped in and shoved his big hands under the warming air "ohhh jesus!.....Well what can I say" they looked at each other and the restless snow "your man il be tryin to remember every 1 of these....... how daft is that?" Andy gave him a wry smile and ran a hand through his long dark hair "as a child I always wanted it to come dowm more slowly so I could keep up even then I wondered how much time I had" the last 5 words escaped with more anger than he'd intended.
"sorry...... you... need...support" they ate and Garry steeled himself to ask the biggest of questions he'd asked it before on the phone when Dougie was airlifted home he this still felt surreal and he would only allow himself to believe it in increments "how bad... does... this get how long" his voice was breaking and he hated how it made him feel small and vunerable
"I cant really say without examining him and we'd need to do a scan as he can't say where it hurts..I'm sorry you need reassurance and I should be able to..." Garry got out of his seat opened the door and thumped his fists against the jeep, the vibration travelled through Andy like a death rattle "stop it man ok I've had...an idea" the big climber held him and breathed in the frigid air "Anja il get to the truth I know you want a go at him but will it really help pal...with just 1 smile she'll persuade him your anger il make him clam up all right?" Garry agreed but he had his own solution to Dougie's deviousness he got back in and called Jenny's number, the phone was ringing and that gave him some hope he hung on for 5 minutes counting them down "hello who's this" "Jenny ...its Garry I didn't know who else to call..." "Garry? The climber fella?" She searched her memory for a clue "ahh yes I remember how are you what's up" he lied to her about the 1st part and wished for a pint "eh...have you heard from Dougie at all he's..." she gasped and he had his answer "...Christ!...Yes he's been in touch recently do you know about the cancer" He felt the anger he'd collected in to a little ball begin to unravel inside him "I do now! He's eh only just revealed the whole thing I'm feckin angry at his lies!" Andy gave him a signal to calm down and recieved the middle finger "Garry he was trying to protect you the same as he did with the paralysis Dougie knew you would lose it"
He gripped the door handle to avoid justifying his opinion "lose it how long did he feck about before tellin you eh a few days.... a week or so" Jenny sat down and drank her strong coffee which only increased the speed of her heartbeat "ok uhm he told me a month ago" she heard hard bangs in response Garry felt he could no longer trust Dougie the gap between them had been widening since his accident and now its seemed insurmountable Andy asked for the phone he had to prise Garry's fingers away the knuckles were white and his eyes were furious "hello eh I'm a Doctor I'm concerned for Dougie has he had treatment recently.." Jenny went to light up and quickly reconsidered "he... has yes but it wasn't completely successful..he's to have 2.... or 3.. more " as she struggled to keep herself together and Andy mulled over the implications John appeared at the drivers door his face was red with the searing wind Andy opened the window 6 inches and hoped for good news "lads eh can you.." Garry read the situation and scrambled out of the jeep "what!? Shit!.." he raced to the door slipping and almost falling on the compact snow Andy was right behind Garry skidded to a halt at the door and hauled it open "where.... is... he! Never mind the cancer I'll kill him myself!".
The big climber pushed past him and followed Billy to a back room he was as worried as the rest "hey man whats up hmm?..Are you feeling rough..Billy can you get my rucksack ..the big red n blue 1" he rushed off but not before exchanging a glance with Dougie "no more complaining all right let him see to you" he gave him a thumbs up and coughed violently John appeared with a hot mug of tea laced with honey "have you had any signs of a cold recently if so then don't come any closer your man has a nasty cold.... when was your last treatment hmmm and no bullshit" John backed away as if they were both contagious I...over.... ...a month ago their not optimistic so" Dougie held his chest as another vicious bout of coughing ripped through him "if the storm eases I'll call the M.R f..k I'll call em anyway, and we'll airlift you to Inverness failing that Fort William..and dont argue" "again!..I hate helicopters...ach at least.... you lot... speak English" Andy put a blanket around him as Billy came in with his rucksack "I never go anywhere without this" he searched for his 1st aid kit and Dougie drank his tea between coughing and struggling for breath "ok here we are now I'll get a better idea though your chest sounds diabolical" he listened to the rattling breaths tearing through Dougie's lungs and waited for his professional training to replace the affection he felt for this reckless chancer.
"As I feared this could easily become an infection and I don't have anything with me..damn!" Dougie placed a hand on the climber's shoulder and he saw a look of resignation in his eyes "it's alright man dont worry and cancel the chopper I'm not havin your guys riskin their lives for me" he dismissed the fever and chills as nothing more than an inconvenience and tried to return to the bar "oi! These guys have been coughin and sneezin all over the place all day and now your in real danger, Dougie this whole trip is a perfect example of your selfish need to equal and 1 step ahead I've been through hell today because of that and not to mention your lies! Now I'm unable to tell if what your telling me is true or otherwise! Right now I could hit you!" John held Garry as uncontrolled anger and grief flashed across his face his hands were clenched as if he intended to throw a punch "what will I do hmm? Who will I moan at at 6.00am on a freezin mornin, when I'm hungover an your idea of a cure, is a hike in pourin bloody rain!".
Give us a break Gobby! Stop flooding the boards with 'creativity' or whateverthehell you like to call it...
They looked at each other for a few minutes until Dougie held out his hand Garry remained where he was and scowled then he saw his friend fighting back tears "come here you big eejit" they embraced and as usual Dougie had the last word "I always swore I'd never greet in front of a Viking" he heard what could have been laughter or scoffing "f..k I'd kill for a pint its time you owned up eh pal? There has to be a reason..." the Irishman sat back and wiped his face his hands hid his expression but there was no need to guess "feck...when I said the Doc's..... aren't optimistic I meant they need...... to get their.... fingers out...I heard 1 say why are we trying to..... save this poor... bugger what kind of... life does... he have anyway" Andy was incredulous and paced around to work off his anger I've heard about this... but..Christ!" Garry stared into Dougie's eyes and he realised he was reading between the lines "I'm not lyin! Their not treatin me properly because I'm stuck in this thing!" Andy had clamed down enough to come up with a plan "right your my patient now and I swear to do everything to get the cancer in to remission and you should seriously consider suing..I'll call the base and get those lazy sods away from the tv"
"You've 1 problem with that...... mate I cant set foot in a helicopter since.... the accident I've had an.... all consumin fear of em" the climber smiled and reassuringly "not even with an Irish pilot hmm admittedly he's mad as a snake but a great flier" Dougie drank the last of his tea and nodded though Andy saw fear written all over his face "once you confront the phobia its power is diminished just remember that" he watched the swirling snow and the sensation of falling made his head spin "ohhh man.... you expect me to get in a chopper in this! Feck..you'll have to knock me out" Garry stood up and cut him dead "don't tempt me".
He needn't have worried as the snow turned from a blizzard into a white out and reduced the visibility to a couple of yards Andy slammed down the phone in frustration and swore at the weather "bloody hell! If I didn't have bad luck I'd have none at all" Anja gave him a hug and he forgot all about the dangerous journey "that's better but eh your man is the 1 who needs help" she stood back and made him laugh "I kill him very soon sneaky Irish he's so much trouble" "I think your behind Garry and John's after him" she smiled and went to see Dougie "you are what is it sleekit yes more like him" Anja pointed to Garry who was drinking a pint and absently fiddling with the silver Thor's hammer around his neck "hey that's an unfair insinuation we are very honourable" she sat down and took Dougie's hand "no more secrets no too many people are hurt" he glanced at her vivid blue eyes and agreed "youre the best man its too late I've fallen an this time there's no pain" she kissed him and the fear dissolved
"would you make love with a sleekit cancer ridden cripple and think before answerin" anger raced to the surface and she thought about leaving "why do you say these things hmm I make love to you if you had 2 heads and both were very ugly" Dougie laughed then coughed his chest burned and it was difficult to breathe just then Billy appeared back with some muscle rub "here I use this for my joints it will help your cough" he shook his head with a rueful smile and joked "ohh sure the last thing it needs is help" Billy handed the jar to Anja and Dougie's eyes lit up "behave or I will nip you" "as long as its low down I won't mind" her eyes were alive with mischief and revenge "I wish I could put it down there and hear you scream I did it once he never forgive me" he cowered in mock submission and reversed "I don't blame the.... poor fecker.... could he walk afterwards.... give.... me that woman bloody hell!" Anja jumped out of reach and teased him he wanted to join in but the effort was too much "please I cant.... hardly get a.... breath...ohhh man.... get rid a.... these an let Garry see... y'doin it" she took the cigarettes and rushed to the bar while yelling on Garry he came running and they ripped the tobacco to pieces over the fire
"about feckin time man...Paddy?" Garry saw him more clearly now his friend was thinner and the tight muscle tone he'd mistakenly seen was due to significant weight loss "f..k! How much have you lost hmm? I must have been hallucinatin" Dougie rubbed the menthol cream in to his skin and down his arms, every joint ached and he was worried about succumbing to the flu "I'm not really sure didn't I say I'd lost a stone" "no you most certainly did not..do you want a hot toddy Billy does a cracker" he looked at his ribs and pale skin they shamed him and the mere idea of competition basketball made him feel exhausted "aye tell your man I..appreciate everythin he's done...Garry whatever happens we'er unbreakable man ok and I know Northman never breaks his word" he smiled and disagreed "what book have you been readin eh? Some would turn as soon as look at you" Dougie knew he was trying to hide the pain of his loyalty but the truth was there in his eyes.
He turned to go but something stopped him "will Andy's intervention be in time eh those b*st*rds leavin you to die because your disabled its sick" "aye it is look well to each step man ok nothin's forever" Garry walked up to his friend took his hand and "bollocks if and when we die Paddy we'll meet at the gates of wherever and there had better be a f..kin ramp!" Dougie laughed and asked for some water "I'm not feckin stayin paralysed in my after life I'm goin back to kick the Matterhorns arse an your comin with me!"
they made a promise to do just that and Dougie decided he'd had enough of incubating his cold in private "sure what else can I catch hmm anyway where's your man til I see him about some Stags Breath" he sat up in the chair and braced himself to move back in the seat "eh do you think we'd get in to Valhalla after all we're no warriors" Garry thought about this and pictured the scene in his mind "yes my name alone will ensure us a place but don't go askin the dead for a square go ok..they wont refuse" the Irishman sighed and moved towards the door his chair was light and easy to manoeuver however due to the weakness in his limbs it felt heavy and cumbersome "shall I push you Paddy" he was about to complain but the tone of his friend's voice stopped him "ok go on I know you love it".
Billy was mixing his famous hot toddy and the bar was filled with the aroma of warm honey laced alcohol, the climber's were ordering the brew as soon as it was ready Dougie drew up by the fire and applied the brakes he sat forward and tried to ignore the consistent shivering and sweating "you've got a right dose man and no doubt we'll all get it" he pulled the blanket around his shoulders and nodded as Billy handed over a mug of his toddy "with Stags Breath drink it slowly now I don't want you singing" Dougie took the mug and sipped the hot liqueur "ahh heaven in a glass man your a genuis" Anja was intrigued by this cure and asked to taste it "careful ok its very hot ideally your meant to drink it in a bath an sweat out the cold" she tried a small sip then another and smiled "hmm I love it hey Billy 1 more here yes" he laughed and risked a joke as Garry had gone to the gents "if you an Olaf promise to leave your raiding till tomorrow I'll give you some" Anja promised on Garry's behalf and dropped a finger in to her lover's drink he watched as she sucked the sweet liquid from her fingertip and whispered "ohhh Jesus every bloody thing you do drives me crazy"
Andy was sitting with them and his shy smile was directed towards Anja "your not the only 1 Paddy I might take my next holiday in Sweden this summer" he moved closer and asked "..Do you have any cousins back home or a sister hmm?" She faked confusion and he was suddenly awkward and tongue tied "I don't know big guy so strong but like a little boy with a woman I have 2 cousins..yes they like you very much" Andy caught Dougie's eyes and he laughed briefly before the cough could get a grip "sure they'll be all.... over you man eh woman love guys with big machinery" the big climber choked on his beer and Anja slapped him on the back
"Christ! I came up here to relax away from the stress of my job and now I'm being beaten up by a member of Abba!"
As her hand came down for a playful slap he winced and Dougie saw pain in his eyes "watch the big lad's back where d' you hurt eh? Here darlin use this" but as she carefully lifted his shirt Andy moved away "stand still big scared man I tell the rescue boys and they laugh at you" Garry came back as his friends took the piss out of the big guy's discomfort "aw diddums Andrew let the nice Swedish nurse look after your pain" he grimaced as she rubbed the cream across his aching muscles, Anja was enjoying herself and his shyness "so big and so frightened I wont hurt you..be glad it's not your dick that hurts" Garry sat down beside Dougie who was getting a crick in his neck but he didn't mention it " how are you feelin Paddy is that workin I brought you some warmer clothes and your thick fleece" he thanked him and hauled on the Irish Rugby shirt but just doing that had been an effort so Billy kidded him on
"You'd think there was a game on with you 3"
They hadn't noticed and he filled them in "2 Scottish 1 Irish I think your out numbered Paddy" he shrugged and sipped his toddy "sure we 'd be playin ourselves only my ball's the wrong shape" the bar erupted in loud laughter and Andy saw his chance to sneak away but he didn't get far "oi! Your man's makin a bid for freedom" "come on I'm feeling no pain now" he held out his hands to fend her off "anyhow it was just a twinge" Anja let him off the hook as her lover asked for a push "just to the door an no further my dick,is my business" she shook her head and said quietly what he'd feared "if we make love I'd like it to be involved" for the 1st time,in a long time Dougie was speechless and inspite of his stiff painful joints he insisted on making his own way to the gents.
he stopped beside Andy and broke the ice "she'll be the death a me" he agreed while keeping an eye on the snow "you don't mind if I...Christ I've never got used to this..aspect of" Dougie shifted uneasily in his chair and averted his eyes from the climber's friendly smile "you should watch... that "twinge" don't...ignore it" Andy assured him that he would "go ahead this aspect can be very tricky..how are you as a patient I suspect your a pain in the arse" Dougie relived himself and tried to forget the days of swearing and non cooperation that had been so prevelant in the early days of his rehab "eh ..no I'm not too bad sure as long as I'm treated with respect an not like an incurable paraplegic" Andy put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it "I will never allow that to happen but we will need to take it into consideration...you are a man 1st, a friend 2nd and disabled well...."
"Hmmm cheers pal ahh your woman..do you know what she said this il make you laugh..she want's this useless article involved in sex..what for I cant imagine" Andy gave his a shake then zipped up his jeans "well these Swedes y'know their eh different all right..it il be interesting" he was trying not to laugh "at least she wants you that must give your confidence a huge boost" Dougie remembered how fervently Jenny had chased him her feelings had been clear from quite early on "...aye I'm chuffed she's.... incredible" his confidence wasn't nearly as high as he would have liked as he went to the sink to wash his hands Andy saw his self conscious awkwardness he was frightened of disappointing Anja and failing in bed,when success was far more important to his male pride
"listen she'll understand and your condition gives you far more scope for experimenting right" he thought of all the tricks he'd used when making love to Jenny but the sheer physical logistics of it had been hard work "but I can't move freely I'm only mobile in this" he slapped the wheels of his chair and his joints protested "otherwise she has to do all the work it's humiliatin now before,havin sex felt the same as flyin y'know free as a bird now I'm stuck in concrete like the devil in Dante's inferno!" Andy crouched down and did his best to ease Dougie's concern "Paddy you can't run away from every opportunity because of a fear of failure man d'you know I'm scared of flying, every time I get in that helicopter with Seamus I'm crapping it..mind you we all are".
Dougie looked at him with indcredulity and reversed as fast as his aching arms would allow "how mad is this fecker...where's he from" Andy stood up and ignored a painful twinge shooting up his back "he's from Cork does it make any difference..the guy just loves flying in bad conditions he'd see this" he swept an arm across the window as the snow came down in torrents "as just a squall" Dougie shook his head and asked "Seamus from Cork... is his 2nd name McCarthy ..I knew a nutter from there but their all a bit.." he pointed to his temple and winked crazily "it is I'll ask him if he knows a Dougie..?" the change in his friend's mood surprised Andy the odds of the 2 Irishmen knowing each other were remote "no! Your fine for that...it's a long shot eh and its O'Brien".
Anja came in to see why they were taking so long she was a little drunk but just as attractive "hey gorgeous how's it going ..do you know any ABBA songs" she put her arms around Andy and slapped his arse "Christ! She's keen on that eh?" Dougie slapped hers in passing then hurried away he was keen to get back to his toddy "ok where's my brew Billy! Have you any left" he was sweating and the horrible dry crackle in his chest had eased slightly "I have did it work at all your shouting all right thats a good sign" Garry joined him and he was also well on "ohh no not again sure your beginin to worry me pal" Billy came over with a tankard of hot toddy "that's the last of it so drink slowly ..and keep an eye on Olaf the Vikings are restless" Garry scoffed indignantly and stood up to correct him "we are NOT! Vikings we ARE Northmen to go Vi-king meant to go to sea tradin or raidin Viking is a misnomer"
Anja agreed and the crowd half expected them to prove it "whatever it is your not on we'er poor beggers and not worth the trouble" Garry scanned the room and went to see what he could salvage "ahh now your just encouragin the bugger not that he needs any" the Northman wandered around unsteadily and seemed annoyed "well the pickins are scarce here pal Ireland il be a good bet or... England" he faced the Englishmen with a wicked gleam in his eye "hmm hmm we did well down there eh guys bled you dry and scared the life outta every fecker who saw us comin!" Dougie John and Andy were enjoying this but they were also reticent Garry could easily get carried away when his adrenalin was flowing "sit down y'bloody eejit 1 drunken embarrassment's enough" he swung around to face Dougie who was smiling but on seeing the dark emotion in Garry's eyes it faded "ooohhh you out did me as usual mate for a cancer victim you have out done all of us...what would you be like healthy eh!?" Dougie put down his drink and inched closer to his friend who was clearly still harbouring resentment about his deciet "we'll see when I'm in the clear if your man here il have us back! But if you carry on makin an eejit of yourself the answer il be no!"
The Northman slumped down in a chair and drank the final mouthful "ahhh that's the stuff" he wiped his mouth and licked the liquid from his fingers "I was only expressin myself pal and there's no need to get ratty its bad for your health" Billy had forgotten the negative side effects of his lethal concoction "ok I'm a fair man as you know but I've had enough pal you've been rowdy what is it now 3 times on whisky, so from now on its soft stuff or nothing, if you want to discuss it I'll be in the back room" Garry was annoyed and twisted the black thong around his thumb "he's a fly devil that 1 the bugger did the same thing before and I was just kiddin him on" John didn't quite believe he was able to recall any details of that evening he'd been there and the night had been a blur ever since
"So what was the content of your joke hmm?" He turned to his friends with an expectant smile "this il be good" "well eh my brother and I were amusin ourselves" he stretched out and put his feet up on a seat "with exerts from Father Ted your man didn't like our humour" "I suppose it would depend on which character your were impersonating" Garry shifted his position and stretched out again "I just picked a few of the funniest lines and only Billy didn't... he must have seen it as a piss take" the crowd were keen to hear the result however 3 assumed he was making it up, as they had also survived that night and couldn't remember a thing
"The f..ker threatened to throw us out and said "you fellas can sleep it off in the wood hut" we would have been fine but it had started snowin and the temperature had dropped suddenly he didn't want us freezin to death apparently it gives the place a bad name" a climber plonked himself down at the narrator's table and challenged him to come clean "utter bullshit it was 75+ and blazing sunshine, we were all lying sprawled outside trying to clear our heads Christ! Your brother was out of it" as Garry sat up his eyes narrowed then he stood and leaned across the table "what did you say" there was an aggressive edge to his voice that Dougie had heard more than once in their difficult 6 months together he knew Garry would send the climber flying if he repeated his statement "your brother was the worst of th.." Andy stood ready to prevent a fight but he just wasn't quick enough as Garry scrambled over the table and laid the climber out with 1 ferocious punch "never! Insult his name again or call me a liar! because Billy il back me up look their scars from frostbite on Liathach when I lost my gloves! I wasn't long back! He shoved his right hand in the climber's face while wiping his eyes.
Andy pushed his away in and inspected the victim's mouth for damage by the force of the punch he was expecting to find a few loose teeth or worse "sit still man he wont touch you again I'll make sure ae it" Dougie had hurried over to talk some sense in to his emotional friend despite his illness he wouldn't think twice about landing a punch "that was the most stupid thing I've seen you do feck! D'you want us thrown out I mean it's ok for yourself 1 blast on your bull horn an your friends il be here in droves but I'm a bit inconvenienced" his eyes were back with anger and Garry couldn't face him "get outta my sight! Until you can take your drink! And don't bother apologisin later if this guy's injured I hope he sues the arse of a you!"
The climbers moved out of his way and the ridiculous scene reminded him of the climax to a cliched old western he'd watched one wet Sunday out of boredom and fascination "I'm sorry man I just can't stand anyone...what can I do tell me!" Dougie straighted his back and prepared himself for the fall out "perhaps you should start by not demandin that we treat your brother like Mother f..kin Theresa because he was just as wild as the rest of us! If not more so I miss him too I've felt the fecker beside me all bloody day but have i said anythin no! Because you would lose the place...but gettin drunk isn't the answer blondie it il only help you forget the question".
Garry turned to go and even Anja's outstretched hand didn't tempt him to stay "cheers but eh...I'll... be ok" she could see he was lying it was too obvious and she stood back and allowed him to pass "if you need me..." that was the problem he did and the strain of hiding it had become too much, he went to find Billy {f..k! Ive spent the entire day apologisin!} "hello ahh its the rowdy Northman what's up" he was sitting in an easy chair and smoking a herbal cigarette "I eh want.... to say sorry..... for bein such an eejit I should have... known better than.....to come up here I'm... surrounded by memories" Garry eyes roamed around taking in every inch of the room but they avoided Billy like the plague he leaned forward and tried to catch his eye "look son I don't hold anything against you I lost a brother in the troubles, so... your not alone"
"That must have been hard to take eh?" He hoped that didn't sound inadequate and realised right away that it did "it was yes we fought like idiots when he was alive and....well you know" at last Garry met his gaze and offered his hand Billy accepted and they called a truce "now about tomorrow were you nutters still going to say goodbye to An Teallach" he stood up and stubbed out the cigarette "its just the roads blocked and I can guess how your man il react"
there was a collective groan Billy got up and stubbed out his cigarette "their horrible...sure Andy and I could have a word the big lad seems to get on all right with Dougie" Garry sighed it wouldn't matter if they asked Anja to do it stark naked and covered in chocolate,he would still be upset "Doug's not that bad he's just passionate about the hills...I dont ...why does he stay in touch with them why's he torturin himself I mean its not as if everywhere we go is jammed with wheelchairs" the barman couldnt answer and Garry was wondering if there was one